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User blog:Pinkguy the b0ss/Storks Review
What's up my Shreks, and welcome to something I haven't done in a long time. Well, it may not seem that way since I made this page all the way back in... November 2017. I'm mostly doing this because I want to finish what I started. So if this shows up as being made in November, know that I'm typing this out in August 2018. Anyways, if you've even been reading any of these posts (you likely haven't), I started off these blog posts reviewing movies and trashing things I hated. Then, everything changed when the video games took over my interests. From then on, I would only post game reviews or other things related to games, mostly because I bought a total of four new (well, they're actually older Nintendo systems, but you get the point) game consoles in less than a year. For some reason, I mostly avoided watching movies and resorted to just making references to them or memeing them. As of late though, I've been a little more open to making another legitimate review of one as a change of pace from my usual video game stuff. Trust me, I'm gonna go back to doing just that, but I wanted to get this one off my chest. Anyways, with that long-ass intro you probably didn't read out of the way, it's time to dive right in to something I haven't done in almost a year's time - a movie review. Which one? Well, if you couldn't tell from the title, today I'm reviewing Storks. Spoiler - it may be one of the better animated movies you've never seen. Or maybe you have seen it. I don't know, I'm not a genie. Alright, before I begin, I want to mention two things. First, the plot analysis of this one may seem basic compared to something like my Inside Out review, and may instead resemble a slightly longer version of one my video game reviews' plot sections. This is mostly because the plot for this movie isn't too terribly complex. Second, I'm going to go all out and give a completely honest review, which may include some elements that seem cringey in retrospect, mostly because sometimes things get me in the right way and turn out to be extremely ''charming and heartwarming, whereas with most things like this I can keep making jokes and continue not taking it seriously and stuff like that. When this happens to me, it's very evident, as rare as it is. This is one of those times. I'm sorry in advance if I cause severe cringe, but I just want to get all this stuff off my chest. Anyway, with all of that out of the way, let's get started with the review. Plot Basically, the plot is this - on Stork Mountain, basically the HQ of the whole stork business, storks deliver babies to people (well, duh, if you couldn't tell). It's pretty much the same as the whole storks legend. However, there's a catch, they haven't been delivering babies for 18 years due to an accident with a girl named Tulip (more on her later.... ''Dear God, you'll see). Instead the Storks deliver packages in an Amazon-esque company known as Cornerstore.com (which, is actually a real website, no joke , although it's probably not related to the movie). Hunter, the company's CEO, wants Tulip gone since she's 18 and apparently fairly accident-prone. He offers Junior, a stork who every other one knows, the position of CEO if he fires Tulip. He goes to fire her, but instead, leads her upstairs to the old, unused mail room to hide her from Hunter under the false belief that she's getting a promotion. Meanwhile, the son of a couple of workaholics, Nate, wants a baby sibling since he hates being an only child. He writes a letter to the Storks in hopes of getting a brother. Tulip receives the letter, and accidentally puts it into the old baby-making machine, which creates a pink-haired baby girl. While trying (and failing) to stop this, Junior breaks his wing, rendering himself flightless (this will come in as important later). Tulip, having missed out on meeting her family 18 years prior, vows to stop at nothing to deliver the baby to her family, and hopefully while doing so, find her own. The majority of the movie entails shenanigans as Tulip and Junior attempt to deliver the baby, involving a chase with wolves that are like the transformers (twice), attempting to feed the baby (who resists with her ninja skills), and.... trying to get the baby (who, I forgot to mention, gets named "Diamond Destiny" by Tulip.... yeah...) to sleep when she wakes them up one night, all the while Hunter pursues them and Nate and his family gradually become less of workaholics and anticipate the baby. Oh, and lots of near deaths. Tons of them. It's basically the "I Wanna Be the Guy" of animated movies, because it seems like literally anything can happen. Eventually, though, the stork behind Tulip being an orphan - Jasper - rescues the two leads from the wolves (during the second chase), and Tulip discovers that she'll be able to find her family. She explodes with happiness, which is short-lived because Junior reveals that he was supposed to fire her. She wishes the baby goodbye, climbs onto Jasper's back, and flies away, on the verge of tears. Junior is then tricked, and Hunter manages to kidnap the baby and give it to penguins. While this happens, Tulip turns away from her family's house, sensing something isn't right (I don't know, from... spider-sense-like mother instincts? I really have no idea), and discovers Junior in an old warehouse. She orders a package from Cornerstore and they climb into it, being delivers straight to it. There, an event called "Storkcon" is taking place. They disguise themselves and manage to get the baby back from the penguins. She starts crying, and the storks end up cornering the two leads. Tulip then grabs a letter and threatens to insert it into the baby machine, but Junior does one better and hooks a hose up that leads directly to a large stockpile of letters the company receives, and of course, a metric ass-ton of babies results. Hunter uses a huge robot to attempt to take the factory down, but fails due to the baby messing with control buttons. He falls down off Stork Mountain, taking Cornerstore with him, but not before trying to get the last laugh - he launches the robot's arm to Tulip and Junior fall and die with him..... but this fails, as Tulip quickly starts flapping Junior's broken wing, allowing them and the baby to fly to safety. After celebrating, Tulip and Junior realize the floor is covered with babies. The storks then deliver them to their families, ending off with finally uniting Tulip with her family, as the movie ends with one of the most heartwarming things I've seen in one of these - Tulip and Junior hugging, while Tulip's family hugs her, forming the shape of a heart with their red hair. It's a very simple plot that isn't much better than average. Still, I enjoyed it for what is was despite it being far from great. Oh, but do you really want to see what I think makes this movie so heartwarming? Let's talk characters. Characters I just want to start off with this - most are bland and forgettable, mostly side characters, but that's expected. One is just awful - Pigeon Toady. He is always insufferably annoying whenever he shows up. Seriously, I hate this little twink. Thankfully, he only appears a few times, so he can only offend me so much. Characters like Junior, Nate, and the like are decent, and are easy to sympathize with, but aren't all that interesting. The babies are also have decent designs (even though I don't think them (or pretty much all babies) are cute... lol roasted), and..... Ok, alright. There's no avoiding it. The greatest character is none other than Tulip. You know her, she has her own page on this wiki, she's in the wiki's background (next to Inside Out's Joy on the right-hand side), hell, I've mentioned her by name plenty of times in this review already. Why is she so great? Well, there's plenty of reasons. For one, Katie Crown steals the show as her. She may sound familiar if you've ever watched Total Drama Island, where (ironically), she also plays an 18-year-old redhaired girl. Anyways, she nails the performance. I couldn't imagine anyone else doing as great as she did. Next, the character is immensely likeable, mostly because despite all the crap she gets put through, she remains a humble and loving character, even after getting into one of various arguments with Junior. Her personality - energetic with a pinch of motherly - is also extremely charming and loveable. Top that all off with an adorable design, and you've got the perfect recipe for a fantastic character. She comes in third only to Joy (from Inside Out IF I HADN'T HAVE MADE MYSELF CLEAR OF THAT ALREADY) and Shrek (yes, unironically). I mean, just look at these images, and tell me your heart wasn't at least a bit warmed. If it wasn't, you're probably dead inside. Ok maybe that's an exaggeration (it is). Anyways, wholesome things like this don't usually affect me very much, but the fact that Tulip does should be saying something. Random image 679.PNG Random image 1003.PNG Tulip-overjoyed.png 7.PNG 6.PNG 00000.PNG Well, we're not like a family but are like a family!.png this is cute for some reason.PNG random image 7687756757657.png Random image 69.png Angelworks more like gay.jpg Random image 420.jpg Random image 69-0.PNG Smug.jpg And so many more that I could show, but this is a movie review, not an art gallery. So, basically, this movie has overall decent characters all things considered, with Tulip being the only one that is truly great. Anyways, with that blushing out of the way, time to move on to the presentation. Presentation First, I'll briefly mention the animation. To put it short, it's fluid, expressive, and drop-dead gorgeous. Not kidding, it may even have slightly better animation than Inside Out just because of how energetic and beautiful it is. I'll show my like for the animation with the use of an analogy - this movie is for animated movies what the Donkey Kong Country trilogy was for the SNES library. In comparison to what everything else offers, the visuals are amazing, even if everything else looks fantastic on its own. The original score is good and fits the mood of whatever scene it plays in, and it also includes some good 1980s classic rock, which I'm always for. One thing I'm more ambivalent about is the inclusion of modern pop songs (minor rambling incoming). I mean, this is standard for movies of any time. Surprisingly, though, the songs they chose (specifically the last two in the movie, Fire and Flood and Holdin' Out, by Vance and the Lumineers respectively) are actually not completely terrible, and they're from two artists I really don't like. I don't know why, but the fluffyness and the tone of the songs actually fits the movie extremely well, but I still don't like the songs at all because wholesome music like this just doesn't appeal to me. I'm very much a rock guy. All-in-all, though, the movie's soundtrack is at least decent. It's nowhere near as good as the soundtracks of Inside Out, Shrek, and especially the soundtracks from all of my favorite games, but it's still good in its own right. And finally, as I mentioned when talking about Tulip, the character designs. Dear Lord, they are charming and one of the strongest aspects of this movie (especially Tulip). I think that's enough gushing for today, so let's move on to the conclusion. Conclusion Lord almighty. Ok, I have to be honest. While Storks is a somewhat underrated movie and I have praised it quite a bit in this review, I won't deny that it is flawed and far from perfect. In fact, when I first saw this movie, I honestly hated it, but it has grown on me on subsequent viewings. I consider this movie a guilty pleasure of mine. I would recommend you see it if you're interested, but don't set your expectations too high for this one. Well, with my first movie review in ages out of the way, next time I'll either go back to my usual video game stuff, or maybe (just maybe) I'll do another movie review. Whatever the case, I'll see you all in the next post. Category:Blog posts